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We are too permanent
for the transience of poetry,
each brief line speeding on toward
the next at breakneck speed.
And I have never been one for writing
epics, you know that.
I think it hurts his feelings sometimes, that I don't write about him.


I'm sorry.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-03-01
Why I Don't by ~caveatLECTOR ( Suggested by ShadowedAcolyte and Featured by BeccaJS )
:iconamenarae:
Amenarae Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Interesting... I like your wording...
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:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
Interesting is what I aim for.
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:iconamenarae:
Amenarae Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well, you certainly achieved your goal.
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:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
Thank you, maybe.
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:iconamenarae:
Amenarae Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well then; thank you, maybe, for the thank you, maybe~
X3
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:iconmusic-and-words:
music-and-words Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013
I always felt guilty for not writing about him. The few attempts I've made were never right. This helps me understand. Thank you :)
Reply
:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
It does more for my heart than you could know to hear that, first, I am not alone--and second, that I have helped another person feel that way also. What a relief.
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:iconwordeea:
Wordeea Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ha. yes :)
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:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
i'm so glad you see what's going on here.
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:iconmunty12:
munty12 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
i personnaly like this
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:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
it likes you, too.
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:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the well deserved DD! :dalove:
Have a nice day! :heart:
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:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
Thank you so much, and you have a lovely week!
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:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
    My pleasure, thank you :happybounce:
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:iconjackiestarsister:
JackieStarSister Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
This is excellent, poignant and thought-provoking. Thank you for sharing this.
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:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
Thank you for taking the time out to read it. I am completely overwhelmed.
Reply
:iconbirdie121:
Birdie121 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I like the "we are too permanent" as opposed to poetry being transient, since you could argue the exact opposite too. Lives come and go, but the written words, such as those of Emily Dickinson and William Shakespeare, exist far longer. I thought that was an interesting twist. :)
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:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
I like twistiness. Thank you.
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:iconnightshade-kitsune:
Nightshade-Kitsune Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013
Lovely work! Congratulations on the DD.
I rather like "hurtling" more than "speeding on." ^^' I'm not much of a writer myself, though.
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:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
I do like the sort of terror that "hurtling" calls to mind, not to mention the "hurt" it suggests. Thank you.
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:iconindigo-serenade:
Indigo-Serenade Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Grats on the DD; it's completely well-deserved! :squee: :heart:
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:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
You are darling, thank you.
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:iconindigo-serenade:
Indigo-Serenade Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Always welcome! :heart: :happybounce:
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:iconlostgryphin:
LostGryphin Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Congrats on the DD
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:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
Thank you.
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Student General Artist
Now I'm thinking about it, and the meta level of this poem.
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:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
Yes, precisely.
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:iconskysongma:
SkysongMA Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Student Writer
Oh, this is lovely.
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:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
You are far lovelier.
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:iconillusional-magpie:
Illusional-Magpie Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
This is beautiful, Caveatlector. ♥
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:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
You are beautiful. Thank you.
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:iconathenasbitch:
athenasbitch Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
great work. i like the tone/voice especially. i'm going to disagree respectfully with ~NonieR below about the line break in 5th line. It's arch and maybe even a bit coy, which I rather like, but is surprising or startling in its unlikelihood. If it interests you, here is my opinion on one small thing: I would leave out "at breakneck speed," since you've already written "speeding" in the previous line, which itself suggests breakneck, therefore making the breakneck phrase unnecessary. Congratulations on the DD!
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:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
Good call on the duplication of "speed" etc. To be honest this was never a poem I had taken seriously, and Ross was so sweet to nominate it. And I haven't been around here in absolutely ages and ages, though I used to be very active. I appreciate the criticism, and also hugely appreciate you picking up on my playfulness there about not writing.
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:iconnonier:
NonieR Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013
Love this!

One crit, if you want it: I'd break that last sentence at a different point, probably after "epics," because the transitional reading "I have never been one for writing" doesn't seem likely/appropriate. But that's minor.

Well written!

--Nonie
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:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
Actually it's that play on not being one for writing that I'm going after, so the break there is absolutely by design. It's inappropriateness and irony is one of the intended meanings. I appreciate your input, though, thank you.
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:iconshadowedacolyte:
ShadowedAcolyte Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2009
Two thoughts. First, I feel EXACTLY the same way. Thanks for putting it so well. Secondly, it also makes me a bit jealous. *grin* Thanks so much.
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:icondana-redde:
dana-redde Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
<33


I never write intentionally about people I love, but sometimes it shows up anyway.
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:iconjon-law:
Jon-Law Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2008
I don't write about her either.

I dig it, though "speed on" and "breakneck speed" make for the clanks. A powerful compact original phrase right there could elevate it from your signature fond punchline pieces to a real bullet of a poem. (A bullet in the good way.)
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:iconflamemc:
flamemc Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2008
I have the same problem with my wife! :)

Although I actually wrote something for her recently, perhaps it's because she hasn't been asking...
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:iconflamemc:
flamemc Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2008
Oh sorry, I liked it. The first two lines in particular.
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:icontightwhitepants:
tightwhitepants Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2008
Tell him not to frown - in no small part it's probably because of him that you are able to write at all - and in that sense absolutely every single thing you write is all about him.
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:iconevcfenix:
evcfenix Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2008
i noe wat you mean bout not writing about the person you love. its happened to me too before. somehow theres an unspoken obligation that you have to write about him/her. but sometimes, the inspiration just isnt there. theres nothing to be done and ur loved one just has to understand that :nod:
and this piece is really a great way to tell that person that he/she means more than poetry and everything else. wonderfully crafted from the depths of ur heart. i love this.
:+fav:
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:iconoldest-boy:
oldest-boy Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2008
do you write about other men?
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:iconcaveatlector:
caveatLECTOR Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2008
unromantically, sure. fictionally, yes.
we have been through a good deal of bad times, but we soldier on. i love him.
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